Senators play something resembling hockey, lose 1-0 to Jets

Alternate title: Ottawa Senators and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad game.

Have you ever watched a game so boring, you almost fell asleep? Of course you have. Everyone has. Ottawa vs. Winnipeg was one of those games. Unfortunately, it was also an afternoon game, so unless you stayed up particularly late the night before or are really good at napping, you probably sat and watched the entire thing.

You poor bastard.

Alright, so it wasn't entirely that bad, but this Saturday's Ottawa Senators vs. Winnipeg Jets matchup wasn't very entertaining, either. Whether it was because they were playing in the afternoon, exhaustion from the condensed schedule, or a near-tragic team-wide sleeping pill accident, almost every Senator looked fast asleep out on the ice.

The Jets weren't much more entertaining, but they seemed to care a little more.

For the first two periods, almost nothing happened for either team. Winnipeg had a few decent chances, and then the Senators had a couple alright chances (turning it on for a whole three minutes at the end of the second period), and then there were some more chances for Winnipeg. Then in the third period Winnipeg scored and things got marginally more entertaining from then on. Emphasis on marginally.

Let's just get on with it...

Sens Hero: Chris Phillips
In the third period, Phillips fell into the Jets net, tripping over onto Al Montoya and getting his stick caught in Montoya's pads. Hilarity ensued.

Sens Hero: Discipline
No penalties for two whole periods! And then Zack Smith happened. Z. Smith taking an untimely penalty? Shocking. It was the only penalty of the night.

Sens Hero: Peter Regin's chest
Took the brunt of a Grant Clitsome shot, saving Regin's shoulder from exploding. Peter Regin's chest forced Regin to leave the game, where presumably he went to the locker room and watched something more entertaining, like Murdoch Mysteries.

Sens Hero: Ben Bishop
We all know Bishop had a horrible season debut against Tampa Bay and was then benched for a few weeks. It was something weighing on fans' minds going into this game, and you know it was weighing on Bishop's mind as well. Fortunately, Bishop was excellent for the most part. Unfortunately, being twenty feet tall still allows pucks to go over your shoulder. He finished with 36 saves.

Sens Zero: Craig Anderson
It's almost as if he wasn't even playing.

Sens Ghosts: Kyle Turris, Colin Greening, Erik Condra, Kaspars Daugavins, Patrick Wiercioch, Sergei Gonchar, Mika Zibanejad, et al.
Asleep at the wheel.

Sens Free Pass: Mike Lundin
Only the second game in the lineup, 40 hours removed from his debut, 24 hours removed from the birth of twin daughters. Lundin had every reason to not have his mind completely on the game, and so I'm giving him a free pass. Congratulations on your daughters, Mike.

Jets Hero: Al Montoya
Give Montoya credit, when he needed to be, he was very good.

Classic Stats:

• Erik Karlsson had an off night with only 3 shots on goal, but counting misses and blocked shots, he fired 13 pucks on net.
• Nobody took more faceoffs than Z. Smith. Nobody lost more than Z. Smith, either. He went 7-14 on the draw.
• Sergei Gonchar and Erik Karlsson were the only defence men to block shots (one each). Z. Smith blocked two, while Milan Michalek, Stephane Da Costa, and Jakob Silfverberg all blocked one.
• Kyle Turris and Erik Karlsson each took 24 shifts. Turris played 17:48 while Karlsson played 26:49.
• Blocked/missed shots taken by Winnipeg: 18. By Ottawa: 45.

First Star of the Game: Play-by-play man Dean Brown for his desperate biologist speech following an Arctic Ice promo.

Worst Star of the Game: Hockey Night in Canada host Ron MacLean for destroying the confidence of a child on national television.

Game Thread Quote of the Day: The Tif offered this gem: "In other news, the paint on my wall is roughly 85% dry. It was 54% earlier, but the afternoon sun has really cleared it up."

Biggest Story: Peter Regin going kaboom.
Honestly, the biggest story of this game is Peter Regin's injury. We've given Regin a hard time this season, but he's been much better in the last few games. Given the Senators' current centre depth chart already missing Jason Spezza, a long-term Regin injury would leave the top five centres being Kyle Turris, Z. Smith, Jim O'Brien, Stephane Da Costa, and Mika Zibanejad with his inability to win faceoffs (seriously, he's 5-21). This is not good.

Shot Chart: Via ESPN

Game Highlights: File not found.