SATIRE: Ottawa Senators Hire Chris Neil as Chief Financial Officer

The former Senator will be enforcing the finances

After joining TSN 1200 in an interview this afternoon to talk about today’s changes to the Senators’ staff, Eugene Melnyk dropped a surprise announcement as the team has hired Chris Neil as chief financial officer. Neil will replace Stephen Brooks, who recently departed for a position with the Toronto Blue Jays.

After playing with the Senators for fifteen seasons, the club announced in June that Neil will not be returning as a player. After going unsigned for over a month, Neil decided to follow the route of Daniel Alfredsson and transition into a role in the front office.

With numerous members of the team staff departing in the past year (Cyril Leeder, Peter O’Leary, etc.), questions have arose as to whether the staff chemistry is where it should be. “He’s good in the room,” said Melnyk, “hopefully he can bring that veteran presence and provide some mentorship.”

From there Melnyk continued to pour praise onto Neil, citing his 178 career fighting majors and his commercials for Oil Changers as reasons for the hire. “Before we marvelled at his dazzling checks; now he gets to continue writing them.”

Neil will be the Sens’ fourth CFO in the last three years. The full interview and announcement can be found here.

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