We’re two days out from Christmas, and whether or not you celebrate, it’s impossible to avoid the Christmas decorations out in full force. One recurring image is the nativity scene or crèche, which depicts an impossibly peaceful stable scene for the night Jesus was born. That recently got me to wondering, if we were to make a Sens version, who would play which role? We already know that Shane Pinto’s off playing Santa, so he’s off limits. And in the interest of avoiding too much blasphemy, I haven’t assigned the roles of Mary or the baby Jesus. So, other than those two, who’s filling out our scene?
Three Wise Men
This is probably the easiest choice: Claude Giroux, Derick Brassard, and Nick Holden. These are the oldest guys on the team, and bring their wisdom to an otherwise young and hungry rambunctious squad. As a bonus, Giroux definitely brings the gold, given his 0.91 points per game played. I’m gonna say Holden brings the frankincense, because myrrh is a burial spice, and Brassard’s assuredly at the tail-end of his career.
Luckily the Sens have a Joseph, Mathieu Joseph, on the team already. Our Joseph possesses stalwart character and is beyond reproach. He’s happy to remain a supporting character, but is probably the most noteworthy of the supporting characters.
The beast of burden which carried the family. There’s no question who the Sens’ workhorse is: Thomas Chabot, with his 25:49 per game fourth in the league. If we expand back to 2019, Chabot’s 26:06 per game is highest in the NHL over that span. On a Sens team which has been mediocre for most of that time, Chabot has been called on to drag the team to respectability through countless minutes. And much like a donkey can’t complain, you’ll never hear Chabot wish for a lighter workload.
The obvious shepherd is Brady Tkachuk, who has herded his flock into a team that fits with him, a team that has fun together, has off-the-charts vibes, and also plays a skilled, physical, sometimes annoying brand of hockey. Along with him, I’d add some guys who are shepherding in the new era of Sens hockey: Artem Zub, Alex DeBrincat (pending an extension), Josh Norris, and Jake Sanderson. There’s one more obvious name here, but he has a special spot reserved for him.
Our dear Tim Stützle is the most wholesome player on the team. He has the face of a cherub, and would never demean himself to embellishment, regardless of what all those jealous Habs and Leafs fans say. He’d never fight or even push somebody, and he always keeps his language squeaky clean. He turns 21 in a week, and is at 0.96 points per game this season when he still has a few years until he even reaches his likely prime. He’s as close to a perfect angel as we’ll likely see on this iteration of the team.