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The Boring Ottawa Senators

It’s time we accept just how boring the Senators are, and the part we’ve played in it as fans

Pittsburgh Penguins v Ottawa Senators - Game Three
So boring, it almost put Malkin and Daley to sleep mid-game
Photo by Minas Panagiotakis/Getty Images

The Ottawa Senators are boring. Soooooo boring. That’s what we keep getting told, so it must be true.

They never come out with any energy, or really ever go for the lead from the start.

And scoring multiple goals? Don’t hold your breath. They sit back to wait, and wait, and wait for just the right opportunity. Takes forever.

Any goals they do score? All lucky, fluky goals. No skill involved.

All the offence all comes through Karlsson too. They can’t do anything without him and the scoring is absurdly top-heavy.

And the trap. Just clogging up the neutral zone - it’s all this team can do defensively!

And lastly, the crowd - everybody knows we’ve got a terrible crowd. They sit on their hands, never make any noise. Boring team, boring city, boring crowd.

We just have to come to terms with how boring this team is, and how boring we are as fans. It’s a tough lot in life - if only we had something to take the edge off the pain of it.