FanPost

In Which I Write a Rambling Post Instead of Resorting to Self-Flagellation

Look, the margins were always gonna be thin as a bee's dick on this season once His Norrisness Erik Karlsson went down after being ridden into the boards by Edward Scissorfeet, and we still control our own destiny, but if there's one thing I know about sports, it's that you have to grab the thing that you want and fucking tear it out of the hands of your opponents because they always want that shit as much as you do. However, despite all the talk of "bad luck", the Sens haven't really been grabbing much of anything besides their own throats over the past few weeks. I can't fathom how the same team that completely dominated the Washington Capitals last Thursday suddenly are showing all the composure of the a kid who's just been told he's gotta play the role of Danny Zuko in his high school's production of Grease because the lead got run over by a bus on his way to school that morning.

I realize that Ottawa's getting shots and possession, but it's not exactly translating into high quality chances, and at a certain point, if luck isn't going your way, you need to make your own luck. Remember the days when someone would throw a puck at the net, and Dave Dzuirzynski or Jim O'Brien or JoJo the Dog-Faced Bitch Boy (I'm pretty sure he was one of Muckler's draft picks) would randomly score by having it bounce off his protective cup and in? Yeah, those days are over. I realize that such goals are inherently lucky, but we're not even putting ourselves in a position to get lucky as of late. The once so-called Pesky Sens now look about as pesky as my father after 10 PM on a weekday.

And yeah, the goaltending has come back to earth, but it's not like 2 goals in 2 games is gonna get the job done even if Andy isn't giving up goals to something called a "Dustin Jeffery".

As my least favourite blue team has shown, regression is a funny thing. Toronto seems like they could get outshot 103-12, and still ride James Reimer to a 3-1 victory where Nazem Kadri scores a hat-trick despite only having 3 shots with 7 minutes TOI. The shortened season means that things aren't going to balance out over the course of the regular season. Weird things are going to happen. To wit, Ottawa seems to be regressing themselves right out of the playoffs.

If this is to be the case, so be it, but Ottawa had better assault the net like it owes them money on their way out.

Oh, and if we could come up with a powerplay that doesn't look like it could be adequately defended by four hyperactive 12-year-olds sitting in wheely-chairs with hockey sticks, that'd be good too.

Skill has abandoned us. Let's get some grease back up in this bitch.

This FanPost was written by a member of the Silver Seven community, and does not necessarily reflect the beliefs or opinions of the site managers, editors, or Sports Blogs Nation, Inc.

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