The Best of Ask Anton: The Top 10 Anton24 comments

We miss you Anton. (Photo by Phillip MacCallum/Getty Images)

Anton24 may have left us and we don't know if he will return, but we can look back at some of his greatest comments that gave us such laughter! The following is a list of the top ten Anton24 comments as judged by me. We shall start from #10, working down to the best Anton comment ever. All Anton24 comments are in italics.


#10) On April 8, 2011, Anton tells us of Soviet greatness.

BobbyF: Hey Anton
What are your thoughts on Lenin Cat? I think he’s really awesome but I’m interested in what a proud Russian like yourself thinks of him.

Anton24: BobbyF, thanks for question.

Ha! Have not seen this. Cat is funny. Pictures are not. Pictures are proof West could not have survived Stalingrad of their own. Should be grateful man like Lenin forged real power in world. All wise people know Soviets saved world from mistakes of West. Appeasement. This is not way of man.


#9) On October 13, 2010, Anton tells me how Pascal Leclaire would fare in a staredown.

Adnan: Hi again Anton
I think Ovy found the teddy bear in overtime, very bad news.

Also, do you think Pascal can injure himself in a staredown?

Anton24: Adnan, thanks for question.

Is best question. You make me laugh. Potential. I will answer yes. Pascal has no staredown. Can see him losing to mirror. He is like seed of dandelion. Ha! Funny.



#8) On November 3, 2010, Anton tells us his Halloween costume.

Mark Parisi: Hi Anton
Did you dress up for Halloween?

Anton24: Mark Parisi, thanks for question.

Yes, went as bear. Trapped bear, wore bear, let bear go. Frightened many children. Spirit of Halloween.

 

There is more Anton goodness after the jump. Click below to read the top 5 Anton24 comments!


#7) On November 10, 2010, Anton discusses survival tips.

XXXSTAR: Hi Anton,

Your stranded on a island with no knife and a there is a coconut that is REALLY good at stare downs. You have no way of communicating with the rest of the world and your chances of a rescue don’t look good. Your begin to write your autobiography with your own blood on the side of a cliff. What do you write down as your greatest memory as an Ottawa Senator?

Anton24: XXXSTAR, thanks for question.

How does one get own blood if no knife? I do not think you plan well. Do not go into woods, ok? You are not ready.

Anyway, would write "Anton was here. Did not surrender." Know this because wrote it on island in Baltic Sea. Cannot tell you which island or how got there. Made pact with self.


#6) On March 10, 2011, Anton gets angry with Ryan.

Ryan Classic: Hi Anton
How did the war between the giraffes and the flamingos begin?

Anton24: Ryan Classic, thanks for question.

What is this with the silly? Flamingos cannot go to war. They are birds who eat the shrimp and bring babies. Do not understand why anyone would be thinking of war between flamingo and giraffe. Not on same continent. Let me ask you question: Are you injured in brain? Too much eating of the licorice?

But if you must know about war, I will tell you a truth. Giraffe is only animal on planet man cannot staredown. Please do not try. Pain.

 

#5) On April 14, 2011, Anton tells us who he is. Very deep.


Mike Hurley: Hello Anton...
Who are you actually?

Anton24: Mike Hurley, thanks for question.

Is excellent question. You are wise for asking young. Was sitting on Elbrus with father first time asked. Banned from figure skating by dbag judges. What can Anton do now? Father says, "Anton, you must learn answer to question. Only question mattering. All else is games. When you are gone to creator for final staredown, will ask "Anton, who are you?" If this you cannot answer correct, you will face laughing and cast out from
рай forever. Answer is not trick. Is honesty. Think on this, yes? Do not come down until you are knowing."

Many months on top of Elbrus thinking. Of answer. Of truth. Where does man find power of staredown? What must Anton do to turn super typhoon with just eyes? Who is Anton? Most difficult question. Truth is hardest to staredown. Most men cannot do. Flinch from self. Tell lies. Justify. But I do not want to lose final staredown. So stayed.

When finally came down, knew answer. Knew truth. I will tell you a truth: Am Anton.

Now I have question for you. Mike Hurley, who are you?


#4) On February 10, 2011, Anton questions why he doesn't get to staredown his accuser.

Adnan: Hi Anton
Sorry about the suspension. Why did you elbow Zack Boychuk in the head? Was he being a douchebag? Did he refuse staredown? Or simply an accident?

Enjoy the break though!

Thanks again for all your wise answers, I have become a better person for it!

Anton24: Adnan, thanks for question.

I will tell you a truth: This is shit of bulls. Colin calls and says, "Anton, we must suspend." But this is America, yes? Does man not have right to staredown accuser? No. Colin is like figure skating judges. You cannot ban Anton because you do not understand hitting.

11 is small. He is like fly buzzing around Anton. When flies are buzzing you swat. Every man does this. Is reflex. Cannot be banned for reflex. Many times Ilya sneeze on ice and all must skate through smog. But where is ban?

But do not worry for Anton. Will use time for meditation.


#3) On December 2, 2010, Anton discusses the romantic side of staredowns.

dzuunmod: Hi Anton.
I hope I’m not too late.

Is it gentlemanly to enter a staredown with a woman? Have you ever stared down a woman?

Anton24: dzuunmod, thanks for question.

Is good question. Many debates with Chris. Gentlemanly. Most important word is manly. But Chris says is Gentle. Culture. Complicated. But you must not give up staredown. So if woman staredowns you, is ok to staredown. Do not back down. But this is true for all staredowns, yes?

Marriage vow was staredown. I stare. She stares. Finally she nods. I nod. Respect. Good ceremony.



#2) Also on February 10, 2011, Anton tells us of his future plans to write romantic novels.

DarrenM: If you were an author, what genre of book would you write?

Anton24: DarrenM, thanks for question.

Have often wondered what happens after hockey. Lead normal boring life of hockey player so no man would read autobiography.

Many nights on bus thought about writing novels of love. Young hockey player loves princess but she cannot marry because fiance Bakatin will not staredown like man of honor. Plan to elope to forest is ruined by chaos of government falling. Now hockey player must escape KGB and outwit idiot agents of MUST to win hand of woman he loves. Title: "Boiling Ice, Frozen Hearts" Would you buy this?


#1) On December 9, 2010, for the greatest comment ever...Anton writes us a poem.

dzuunmod: Hi Anton.
Putting aside everything hockey-related for now, what is the one thing you miss most about Ottawa?

Anton24: dzuunmod, thanks for question.

Is hard question to answer. Missing is regret and life is hard and short without regret. We make choices, we live consequences. That is life, yes?

But Ottawa had great snow. Reminds a man of home. Wake early and see fresh snow in yard. Quiet. Tranquility. Write poem.

Snow shines like knife blade
Soon will be fresh new footprints
Anton will find you.

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