Guess Garrioch will have to manufacture a new controversy to while the summer away.

Here’s a few suggestions
- Kovy is actually a Russian spy sent to Canada’s capital to infiltrate CSIS
- Alfie fathers illegitimate triplets. Already have enough hockey sense not to make blind drop passes
- Chris Campoli demands a trade to Metallurg Novokuznetsk
- Sergei Gonchar already in Clouston's dog house after voicing his dislike for the colour salmon
- Nick Foligno busted for indecent exposure at local grocery store
- Mike Fisher pulls a Tony Romo and trades up to Jessica Simpson. Discovers the headlights of his truck smashed and tires slashed, Louisville Slugger found at scene of the crime