Because we here at Silver Seven are always looking for an excuse to mention "Senators" and "Playoffs" in the same sentence, I've taken the liberty of predicting the results of Round One of the NHL Playoffs by comparing how a team did against the Senators in the 08/09 regular season. How can this be true? It unleashes the power of statistics - nature's tarot cards.

And let's face it - if your team couldn't dominate the 08/09 Senators, then they probably don't belong past the first round.

Here's how it will work: in brackets will be the team's record against the Sens (W-L-OTL). If that is not conclusive, I'll also include GD - goal differential. If that's not conclusive? I'll flip a coin (a statistical coin). To account for home-ice advantage in this flip, the home team gets heads (which a coin is, as we know, far more likely to land on).

EASTERN CONFERENCE

Boston Bruins (5-1-0; GD=+6) vs. Montreal Canadiens (4-2-0; GD=+4)

Winner =  Boston

New Jersey Devils (4-0-0; GD=+8) vs. Carolina Hurricanes (2-2-0; GD=-4)

Winner = New Jersey

Washington Capitals (2-2-0; GD=+5) vs. New York Rangers (2-2-0; GD=-2)

Winner  = Washington

Pittsburgh Penguins (1-2-1; GD=-2) vs. Philadelphia Flyers (1-2-1; GD=-4)

 Winner = Pittsburgh

WESTERN CONFERENCE

San Jose Sharks (1-0-0; GD=+1) vs. Anaheim Ducks (1-0-0; GD=+1)

Winner (by coin) = Anaheim

Detroit Red Wings (1-0-0; GD=+1) vs. Columbus Blue Jackets (1-0-0; GD=+1)

Winner (by coin) = Columbus

Vancouver Canucks (2-0-0; GD=+6) vs. St. Louis Blues (0-0-1; GD=-2)

Winner = Vancouver

Chicago Blackhawks (1-0-0; GD=+2  [+4 after adjustment*]) vs. Calgary Flames (2-0-0; GD=+6)

Winner = Calgary

As you can see, this mathematically infallible system predicts a number of upsets (Anaheim, Columbus, Calgary) that the mainstream media would decry as "stupid," "reckless," or "the result of picking teams based on an unusably small sample size of games against a non-playoff contender." They're just jealous they didn't think of it first.

*Note: In the case of Chicago and Calgary, the Blackhawks had only played the Sens once while Calgary had played twice. Therefore, I corrected this flaw in the system by multiplying the Chicago GD by two, which completely evens the playing field in every way.